{"id":3045,"date":"2016-07-19T08:00:53","date_gmt":"2016-07-19T00:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/?p=3045"},"modified":"2016-07-19T08:00:53","modified_gmt":"2016-07-19T00:00:53","slug":"saying-the-right-things-to-children-kids-advice-versus-encourage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/2016\/07\/19\/saying-the-right-things-to-children-kids-advice-versus-encourage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Trump Ego Odyssey: Advice Versus Encouragement"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><strong>How can we know if we are saying the right things to kids when they are faced with problems and decisions? Read on to find out more\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3118\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3118\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3118\" src=\"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/shutterstock_147310421.jpg\" alt=\"saying the right things to children \" width=\"600\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/shutterstock_147310421.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/shutterstock_147310421-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/shutterstock_147310421-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3118\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>How can we tell if we are saying the right things to children?<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><br \/>\nGiving advice and encouragement to our children is part and parcel of parenthood. All parents want the best for their children and hope to be there for them as they sail through the ups and downs of life. However, the line between advice and encouragement is a fine (and often blurry) one.<br \/>\nWhile offering advice is a recommended opinion that seeks to provide some guidance and direction, giving encouragement is an inspiration that motivates and gives courage to your child. Understanding the difference between advising and encouraging could play a significant part in building a child\u2019s self-esteem and confidence.<br \/>\nRead: <a href=\"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/2016\/06\/28\/5-parenting-lessons-you-learn-after-becoming-a-parent\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">5 lessons you only learn after becoming a parent<\/a><br \/>\n<strong>Advice<\/strong><br \/>\nWhen a child is faced with a challenge or dilemma, it is tempting to lean on our own experiences to teach them what we think is the right thing to do. For example, suggesting that\u00a0our children take up a musical CCA because it is more comfortable than being out in\u00a0the hot sun for sports training, but is that our decision to make?<br \/>\nWe use our own logical scales to measure what is better, what we believe is more beneficial for their future, and we expect our children to use the same measurements. That being said, giving advice is not wrong &#8211; on the contrary, it is a vital part of parental responsibility, and we have plenty of\u00a0life lessons\u00a0to share as a grown adult. The key is in the delivery. The way in which we\u00a0give our advice and the degree to which we give it to them.<br \/>\nSometimes, when a child comes to you about a problem or a dilemma, he or she is not looking for advice\u00a0but for someone to understand what he or she is going through &#8211; a simple ear to listen and let them talk it out themselves. When you offer advice that is unsolicited, you are in danger of making a child feel judged and pressured. This is because it often expresses the parent\u2019s feelings and can\u00a0come with expectations.<br \/>\nRead: <a href=\"https:\/\/glutenfreepleasure.com\/__proxy_domain\/parentsworld.com.sg\/2016\/06\/03\/different-parenting-styles-according-to-psychologists\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Which parenting type are you according to psychologists<\/a><br \/>\n<strong>Encouragement<\/strong><br \/>\nNow, the right level of encouragement can\u00a0guide a\u00a0child to set goals and aspirations for themselves. It focuses on their \u00a0feelings and efforts and teaches a\u00a0child to evaluate their\u00a0own capabilities, rather than make choices based on the standards of their parents. Instead of weighing in with the pros and cons of different CCAs, try a more moderate approach, saying things like, \u201csports training is going to be tougher but I am sure you will overcome them if you like the sport.\u201d<br \/>\nGiving advice is an important role for parents, and you don&#8217;t want to push your child away. As parents, you are very often the first stop for your child looking for answers. Offer it, only if they ask, but don&#8217;t interfere\u00a0excessively with their decisions and situations. Have trust that they can make the right choices for themselves. Take a step back and give your children the freedom to live their lives, even if mistakes\u00a0are\u00a0to be made on the way. Believe that they have the strength to learn and get back up again.<br \/>\nLife has a way of finding the right path and this is made easier by a strong and loving family support network. Do you agree with this approach to parenting? Tell us what you think in the comments section below.<br \/>\n<em>Like what you\u2019re reading? Join us on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/parentsworldsingapore\/?fref=ts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a> and keep up-to-date with all the latest news and events from Parents World. Share your parenting pics with us via <a href=\"http:\/\/parentsworldsg\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a>\u00a0<span class=\"st\">#<\/span>parentsworldsg.<\/em><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can we know if we are saying the right things to kids when they are faced with problems and decisions? Read on to find out more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3118,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,54,48,8,98,2,44,45,494],"tags":[731,779,780,781,782,783],"class_list":["post-3045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-40","category-at-a-glance","category-family","category-featured","category-health-development","category-lifestyle","category-parents","category-quizzes-trivia","category-school-selector","tag-advice","tag-encouragement","tag-gatherings","tag-motivational-talk","tag-speeches","tag-trump-ego-odyssey"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Are we saying the right things to children? 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